


Delirium

by sugarandspace



Series: Whumptober 2019 [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fear, M/M, Panic Attacks, Poisoning, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 21:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: Alec comes back home from the institute early and finds out that Magnus has been poisoned.





	Delirium

**Author's Note:**

> Day threeeeeee!

It feels so good to be almost home, Alec thinks as he walks the short hallway from the elevator to their front door. He can’t wait to see the smile on Magnus’ face when his husband realizes that Alec is home hours earlier than he was supposed to. The Clave meeting he’d had scheduled for the afternoon had been postponed and Alec decided to use the rare opportunity to go home early, instead of doing more work at the Institute.

There is a risk that Magnus will be busy, but if that’s the case, then Alec can prepare them dinner while his husband wraps up his work for the day.

Alec is a fearless Shadowhunter and not many things make him nervous. But he can’t help but hold his breath when he walks in the hallway, using his soundless rune to be able to slip into the apartment unnoticed. A couple of weeks ago they’d got a new neighbor when the penthouse next to theirs had got a new resident. The woman was old and visibly harmless, but she had a habit of starting long conversations in the hallway. 

Alec assumed that the woman didn’t have a lot of friends, so he’d humored her the first few times, giving her the mundane explanation of their life that he and Magnus had agreed to use. But the more kindness Alec or Magnus showed the lady, the friendlier she got and their talks got lengthier. It had gotten to the point where the woman was asking them to visit, and Alec isn’t in a mood to figure out a new excuse for why they are busy.

When the door closes behind him and he is safely in the loft, Alec sighs in relief. He takes his boots off and walks further into the loft. He doesn’t want to call out for Magnus in case he is with a client, so he looks around the apartment instead, trying to listen if he could hear something.

His eyes fall on a plate on the coffee table that is clearly not one of theirs. It is a creamy color and decorated with a floral pattern, and on top of the plate are a few cookies. It looks like most of the cookies have already been eaten.

Alec’s first guess is that the cookies are probably a gift from the lady next door. Unlike Magnus, Alec isn’t big on sweets, so he passes the home-baked cookies and continues his search for his husband. 

The apothecary door is open and the room empty, and Magnus can’t be seen anywhere else in the apartment either. That leaves only one room, the only room with a closed door. Their bedroom.

Alec opens the door.

“Magnus?”

He barely gets the name out before he spots his husband and all rational thought flies out of his head. Magnus is in their bed, curled up on his side with Alec’s pillow pressed to his chest. That isn’t the most alarming thing though.

Magnus is crying.

Full-on sobbing on the bed with tears streaming down his cheeks, his breaths harsh and uneven. He doesn’t pay any attention to Alec as he comes to the room and rushes towards him.

“Magnus?” Alec asks. He’s trying to stay calm but some of the panic bleeds into his voice. Something must have been badly wrong if Magnus is reacting like this. Alec has never seen Magnus cry like this during the time they have been together.

Magnus gives no response, and it’s like he doesn’t even see Alec.

“Love, what’s wrong?” Alec asks. He sits down on the edge of the bed and lays his hand on Magnus’ forearm. That gets a reaction out of Magnus, but it isn’t one Alec was hoping for.

“No, no, no, no,” Magnus murmurs as he backs away from Alec’s touch. “No, no, no.”

“Magnus hey,” Alec says, reaching towards Magnus again to try to calm him down. “C’mon, talk to me.”

“No, no, no,” Magnus continues repeating and scooting away from Alec, so much that he falls from the bed and hits the floor.

Alarmed - Alec stands up and rounds the bed to see that Magnus hasn’t hurt himself when he fell. He scrambles to a sitting position, looking at Alec but not focusing on him. 

“Hey, I’m not going to touch you, okay?” Alec says and lifts his hands up in surrender. He doesn’t understand what is happening and quite honestly he wants to cry too. Magnus is clearly suffering and Alec doesn’t know how to help. 

Alec is afraid.

“I’m not touching you,” Alec says again and Magnus stops moving, the only movement in his body the tremors that run through him and the sobs that haven’t calmed down. He’s leaning against the bedside table, reminding Alec of a cornered animal.

“He’s gone,” Magnus says to no one in particular. His eyes are looking somewhere far and his voice is unlike Alec has ever heard it. It’s weak. The only time Alec has heard it sound at least slightly similar was in his mother’s shop a few months back when their inability to communicate had nearly led to the end of their relationship. “He’s really gone. Oh, I can’t breathe.”

Magnus is close to hyperventilating and his hands spark with magic. Light blue sparks that are trying to help - either with the physical things Magnus is feeling or with the outside threat Magnus assumes Alec is. But the sparks are weak and fade before they can do anything.

“It misses him too,” Magnus gasps. “They are both gone, I have lost everything.”

“Magnus you need to breathe,” Alec pleads. He kneels down on the floor by the foot of the bed, desperate to touch but knowing that it isn’t what Magnus needs now. Magnus is not showing any signs of calming down or recognizing Alec, and Alec is starting to feel like _he_ isn’t what Magnus needs now.

“I’m going to call Cat, alright?” He asks and digs his phone from his pocket. He doesn’t move his eyes away from Magnus for long and watches as he gasps and coughs as his breaths keep coming short and ineffective.

“I’m alone,” Magnus says between gasps. “I’m all alone again.”

Cat answers on the third ring.

“Alec?”

“Cat, hey,” Alec replies. It’s taking a lot of effort to stay focused on the call. Magnus is still gasping for breath and there are tears falling from his eyes as he leans on the bedside table, as far away from Alec as he can.

“Is something wrong?” She asks, probably picking up on Alec’s tone.

“It’s Magnus,” Alec says. “I- I don’t know what to do. He - I don’t know Cat. I- I can’t help him.”

“What is going on?” Catarina asks, and Alec can hear rustling from the background. “Where are you?”

“In the loft,” Alec replies. “He’s not making sense. He’s panicking and he’s crying and he can’t do magic. He can’t see me.”

“I’m going to be there is a second, okay?” Catarina says. “Stay calm, I’m going to end the call and portal there.”

“Okay,” Alec agrees and lowers the phone from his ear when the call disconnects.

“It’s going to be okay,” Alec says to Magnus’ unhearing ears. “Cat is going to come and she’s going to help you.”

It hurts more than any injury Alec has ever sustained, to watch as the love of his life is struggling and he has no way to help. Alec stays where he is, not getting closer but not wanting to move further either.

If someone were to ask, Alec wouldn’t have been able to tell how much time passed before Cat rushed into the room.

“Help him,” Alec says weakly and makes room for Catarina to reach Magnus.

Magnus doesn’t look at her either and flinches away when she tries to touch his arm to get his attention.

“Magnus-”

“No!” Magnus wails. He’s swaying, his breaths irregular and shallow.

Catarina backs away and waves her hands in a motion of a spell, and as the white glow settles over Magnus, he goes unconscious.

“Is he okay?” Alec asks. His voice is rough and his breaths are slightly panicked, but Catarina’s reply is calm.

“I sedated him,” she replies. “I can’t examine him when he’s having a panic attack.”

Alec nods. While it is easier to look at Magnus now, when the despair from his face has turned into the calm expression he wears when sleeping, they still don’t know what had caused Magnus’ odd behaviour.

“Can you get him to the bed?” Catarina asks, and Alec nods, feeling relieved that he can finally do something to help.

He places one hand under Magnus’ knees and the other holds his back when he lifts him up from the floor and places him on the comfortable bed. It almost looks like he's sleeping, but the tear tracks are still shining on his cheeks, a reminder of the emotions that had been coursing high just a moment ago. Alec brushes the hair out of Magnus’ forehead as Catarina rolls her sleeves on the other side of the bed.

“I’m going to see if a diagnosis spell will give us the answer we are looking for,” she says. “Can you move your hand away?”

Alec does as he's told, settling for watching as the blue glow travels over Magnus’ body.

“He’s been poisoned,” Catarina says after a while. 

“Has the poison caused permanent damage or will it leave his system with time?” Alec asks, knowing that ‘poison’ was a wide term that fit a wide variety of toxins.

“There are traces of it in his mouth and stomach, so it’s from something he’s eaten,” Catarina says, her eyes closed as she focuses. “It travels from there onward, but it doesn’t seem to be causing physical damage. It should wear off in a couple of hours.”

“The cookies,” Alec says immediately. “There were cookies on the coffee table. I think they were from our neighbor.”

“Would your neighbor want to hurt you?” Catarina asked.

“I don’t know,” Alec says honestly. “I’m going to call the institute and ask them to bring the woman into the Institute. I can’t leave him now.”

“The poison caused him to hallucinate things that scare him the most,” Catarina says. “That was probably more fear than he’s ever experienced at once. He’s going to need you when he wakes up.”

Alec remembers the words ‘he’s gone’ and remembers how Magnus had been holding his pillow when he arrived in the room. He knows he can’t leave from his side.

“Thank you Catarina,” Alec says seriously. 

“Thank you for calling me,” she replies.

“Will the sedation spell last until the poison wears off?” Alec asks, worried that Magnus might wake up and be thrown back to the nightmare he had been in.

“I’ll make sure that it will,” Catarina says. “But I left Madzie home alone, so I can’t stay for longer.”

“It’s okay,” Alec says. “Go to her.”

“Let me know when he wakes up and if there are any changes I should know about,” she makes him promise before she leaves.

“I will.”

-.-.-

When Magnus wakes up, it isn’t slow or gradual. Alec can pinpoint the exact moment the spell wears off because Magnus’ eyes open wide and he sits up on the bed. It reminds Alec of how Magnus acted when he was poisoned, but he calms down a bit when he sees that Magnus’ eyes focus on him, where he’s sitting on a chair next to the bed.

And then Magnus starts crying again.

“Hey,” Alec says and stands up from his chair. He sits on the side of the bed and reaches towards Magnus, but he hesitates before his fingers reach his husband. What if Magnus isn’t completely okay? What if Alec’s touch will cause a reaction like it did before?

He doesn’t need to think about what he should do for long, because Magnus falls forward and hugs Alec with all his strength. He sobs on Alec’s shoulder and his fists grip the fabric of his shirt, and Alec returns the embrace firmly.

“It’s okay,” Alec says. He turns his head enough to leave a kiss to the side of Magnus’s head and his hands move in comforting motions along Magnus' back as he cries.

“It’s okay,” Alec repeats quietly. “You are okay. None of what you saw was real. It was a poison that made you see those things and feel those emotions.”

Eventually, Magnus calms down and pulls away from Alec hesitantly. Alec brushes the traces of tears away from Magnus’ cheeks and takes hold of his hands, providing comfort even as he’s far enough to look Magnus in the eyes.

“You died,” Magnus croaks out. “Everyone was dead. You, Cat, Raphael - everyone who’s even slightly close to me. I felt like I was being attacked, but I couldn’t use my powers to defend myself. Even my powers were gone. I was alone and I had nothing.”

“Everyone is okay,” Alec says, his chest aching for the man in front of him. “I’m here. Catarina is the one who figured out what was happening to you, but she couldn’t stay. I can bring your phone and you can call her and Raphael, if hearing their voice would make you feel better?”

“Yeah,” Magnus says and nods his head. He’s obviously still shaken up. “Yeah. I think that would help.”

Alec leaves the room and picks Magnus’ phone up from the coffee table where he’d last seen it, and he returns to the bedroom to find Magnus looking at the door, his rigid posture relaxing a bit as Alec steps into the room. 

“Do you want me to give you some privacy?” Alec asks as he gives the phone to Magnus.

“Can you stay?” Magnus asks hesitantly.

“Of course.”

Alec sits down on the bed next to Magnus and places his hand on Magnus’ thigh. Magnus puts his own on top of it to keep it there.

Magnus calls to Catarina and Raphael. He assures to Catarina that he’s fine, and saves Raphael from most of the details. Alec finds comfort from the way Magnus’ voice gets stronger towards the end, and how his grip on Alec’s hand turns from desperate to gentle. 

Alec uses the time to text Jace for updates about their neighbor, and he hears that they were able to capture her and bring her in to be questioned. He wants to be there to question the woman himself, but the need to stay with Magnus is stronger.

When Magnus ends the call, he places the phone down on the nightstand with a yawn.

“Tired?” Alec asks, even though he knows the answer.

Magnus nods in reply.

“Do you want to take a nap before dinner?” Alec suggests.

“Will you stay with me?” Magnus asks.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Alec assures him.

“I need to change into something more comfortable first,” Magnus says. “And I don’t even want to know what my face looks like right now.”

Alec doesn’t have time to reply before Magnus waves his hands and suddenly they are both in comfortable clothes, the blanket over their legs, and Magnus’ face is free of make-up.

“You shouldn’t have exhausted yourself even more,” Alec says gently. The amount of magic required for all this was probably more than Magnus should have used in his state.

“I needed that,” Magnus says simply, and Alec nods in understanding.

They lay down on the bed and Alec moves the blanket so that it’s reaching their necks. It’s warm and comfortable under the covers, and Mangus scoots closer so that he’s resting against Alec’s side. Alec places both of his arms around Magnus.

“I love you,” Alec says quietly.

“Love you too,” Magnus replies, and it doesn’t take long before he’s asleep. The poison really tired him out, and Alec swears that the person who did this to Magnus will pay for their actions. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me from [tumblr](https://sugarandspace.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/sugarandspace_)!


End file.
